As I held her, weak as her "life" proceeded to wish to leave her, she met me at the place she longed to be in. A little village, right outside of London, five hundred years ago. Long blue dress, long dark hair, shining around with those big green eyes. "I've been wanting to come here" she said. "Well, the word got spread around" I replied. "The sun feels so warm, I missed this so much" she said as she leaned her body against mine on the field, autumn trees filled the place with their orange leaves, the horses made the whole scene feel like a celebration of life, of day light. "Am I dreaming?" she asked, I shook my shoulders in the hopes of convincing her that it actually didn't matter. "I miss being human" she said to me, "humanity is overrated" I said trying to make her forget about the beginning but to enjoy the end. "I had friends, I had a family, I mattered", she looked up to me as I said: " you still do".
- I don't, and that's ok, but you do. You spent your whole life surrounded by the people who love you, I spent five hundred years just existing.
She said as if it was possible to live for that long and continue to feel, to hurt.
- I didn't have a choice.
I told her.
- There's always a choice.
She said while gazing at me with those big green eyes. I said "You know, you are ruining a perfect day with your strange, philosophical blabber". She laughed and kissed me.
- I'd like to enjoy the fresh air, will you enjoy it with me?
- For a while.
I said. She leaned her head on my shoulder.
As I felt the fresh air for the first time in 120 years, with my eyes open I still had her dying body in my arms on that filthy bed. I grabbed the wooden stake as I let go of her hand.
On the field, she grabbed my hand harder and thanked me. "For what?" I asked and she replied: " for being this good". It was the first time in a hundred years I had listen to the word "good" being directed at me.
- Am I gonna see them again? My family?
- I think you're gonna see whoever you'd like to see now.
- I'm not afraid anymore.
With the stake in my hand I gently positioned it on top of Rose's heart. She interrupted me to ask if I'd like to race her through the woods.
- Well, be aware that you're gonna lose.
I warned her.
- Well I'm older than you, and faster.
She replied with the devil's eyes.
- Oh you think? Well I'm controlling this dream, maybe I'll cheat.
She laughed and said:
- On the count of three.
My hand now strongly tries to fight the will of pushing the stake down her chest.
Even though they were little, my strange tears painfully rolled through my face.
Like my existential crisis of feeling or switching off my humanity kicked in and I was left with the decision to kill her/it or let live.